Tuesday, 6 September 2011

One step forward - about 50 steps back

Well here I was thinking I was finally getting good at jumping!  How wrong could I have been.

I had a lesson with my RI at my yard last night.  Not had a jumping lesson from her in over a month as we've either being having flatwork lessons or attending jumping clinics elsewhere.

We have only a few jumps at my yard so perhaps it's not the best to have my jumping lessons there but we have enough for 4 jumps.

Pony was just not in the mood at all - spooking but at the same time not forward off the leg. I wasn't wearing spurs as I need to improve his way of going without spurs as I don't want to reply on them all the time.

Stared over some small xpoles and that was fine - they were perhaps smaller than I'd have liked but that's fine.  Then did some work over a double - I hate doubles - they have always been a problem for us but I understand that means we need to practice them even more. 

Didn't always get the right striding - we're aiming for 1 stride and he sometimes still takes two but it's improving.  For some unknown reason though I kept taking my legs off at the last stride so some of the jumps were far from pretty and I wasn't happy with myself!

Then RI set up an angle - quite a sharp angle too - over a skinny of barrels to a straight - straight was only 65cm so hardly taxing.  Jumped it fine once I'd sussed out the correct line and was reasonably happy with it.

Then I had to jump it the other way - straight then barrels.  Could I get it right - no I could not!  I got more and more and more frustrated each time we ducked out the the right of the barrels.  I was looking at the line but not riding it if that make sense.

I must have got it wrong about 6 times and I was sooo deflated.  RI made me jump it the other way again and kept emphasising that it's the same angle and the same line regardless of direction but that didn't really make me feel better. By this point I was ready to just give up and was declaring myself as "absolutely useless" at this point - I honestly wanted to cry with frustration!

Finally, after messing it up another few times we got it right.  Tried again and messed it up again! GRRRR!! One final attempt which was successful and we called it a night.

RI seemed positive about the lesson - says that I need to be pushed out my comfort zone and didn't I feel a sense of achievement that we'd finally managed it - if I'm honest, I felt no achievement whatsoever as in my mind we should have been jumping it easily from the word got and then moved onto more difficult jumps rather than being stuck at such a small jump. At my last clinic we were popping 80cm courses with ease so why couldn't I do that! Instructor tried to make me feel better by explaining that it was a very skinny fence on a tight angle and that at the level I compete I'd never face anything as technical as that but I do wonder if she was just pandering to me a bit!

I feel a bit better today but honestly I wonder why I bother - it's frustrating when you're not as good as you want to be when you try so hard to get it right. 

I think I need to reassess my goals, take the pressure off myself and come up with a plan that helps me progress but doesn't affect my rather shaky confidence!

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